At twenty three and twenty four, and six months into our jobs, I don’t know what’s hit my friends. I find last night’s conversation with F slightly unreal. Stability over fun, loyalty over zest, family over friends. When did we grow so old, when did the flirting stop mattering, when did we start pondering on guys she’d be meeting as future husbands and not just as people to have fun with, when did it all change?
There are of course plenty of people I know who are my age and are hitched. Some of them even got married at twenty. But then that’s what they always wanted, perhaps. Shaadi, pati and bachche. And nothing else.
There’s B who’s going to walk down the aisle soon. Sooner than she thinks and if she doesn’t give me six months notice (to grow my hair and go shopping) I won’t go. And then who’s going to organise her bachelorette party?
Soon it’ll be an avalanche I fear. And soon there’ll be children too. I’m going Oh my god Friends ishtyle in my head at this point.
One of my friends is getting married this year. He’s twenty four. I think it’s ridiculously early, especially for someone whose last big fight with his fiancee centred on whether she’d let him hang his old keyboard on the wall of their bedroom. (He’s ultra weird but that is a post for another day.)
Twenty four. You still have so much to do, to see, to experience, so much to know before you do something so serious. What if you don’t know yourself well enough, I asked my friend, when he called to tell me the news. What if you think two years later that you should have waited a bit, what if you think that this was a wrong decision and you should have gone backpacking across the country instead? What if someone else comes into your life and you realise you like the person better?
Sometimes I find it incredibly disorienting that people around me know. This job, this city, this person. With absolute finality. Maybe some of them don’t have their lives littered with ellipses and question marks like me, maybe it’s more of commas and full stops.
Maybe.
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A friend is getting married at 20. To someone 11 years elder to her. Arranged. We are so busy freaking out that we have hardly congratulated her. She seems happy. Not even pretend-happy. Genuinely happy. Don’t know why. Like she even has a choice.
I like the post.
Crossroads…choosing between a life of real existence or choosing between a life of mere survival.
“What if someone else comes into your life and you realise you like the person better?”
Does love really conquer all? Wish I understand this dilemma better..
Who knows? A lot of people ARE ready for it when they take the decision, and maybe are fine once they’re reasonably happy with one person. Maybe ‘what ifs’ don’t really matter then. It may not be what you or I would do, but hey, it seems to be working for a lot of people.
perhaps, all that some people want from life is to ‘settle down’ and go through the familiar routine … but then, what is the point of that? !!
guess, some people delude themselves into believing that they want those specific things .. and some others meander along looking ….
you never really know. you make calculated decisions and hope that the math stays right forever. it’s a leap of faith, goes against the grain of everything you’ve taught youreslf to do in order to survive, but you do it anyway. growing up is one way to look at it, security, stability and love are others. between wondering whether they took the leap too early or ruing the fact that they never did, some find the elusive middle ground.
Oh god. I know what you’re saying. Im 25 and worried about finances, mortgages, managing in laws, managing my home..where has all the fun gone?
Life is complicated, dont even for a second think that its simple. You make plans and think about future, and then, destiny and fate slowy rips of every bit of certainity from it. No matter what and how much you think, things will happen thier way, whether you like it or not. So dont sweat it. Go with the dramatic flow!!
@FLD – Your friend is being stupid. Seriously stupid. And its not going to take a long time for her to figure that out.
Yokes. No marriage now. Not too soon please….
and you toh definitely don’t get married. Else we’ll get to read the exploits that you’ll unleash on that poor soul. Whilst many might love all that, I wouldn’t. poor guy!
“Sometimes I find it incredibly disorienting that people around me know. This job, this city, this person. With absolute finality. Maybe some of them don’t have their lives littered with ellipses and question marks like me, maybe it’s more of commas and full stops.”
Loved this bit. Exactly what I’d been thinking in the last few weeks and getting so envious about people with these commas and full stops. But really, I’m sure life’s not that unfair right? As my room mate says, we are waiting because we have something better in store for us.
With that hope, let’s continue to celebrate 24 and singledom!
Love.
I think with the same devil-may-care attitude that so may of us espouse,some people find ‘taking the plunge’ an adventure of sorts.So I won’t agree with childwoman in prophesying someone’s ‘stupidity’.I believe she should be wished all the luck and love any friend deserves(which I am sure has already been done
). And warned that she better fight to retain all that she loves and not indulge in silly ‘sacrifices’.
As for ellipses,they promise to be what they are now,more than one in number,in continuum(till desired or considered necessary)and useful
.